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August 26, 2024


CHILDLESS 36-YEAR-OLD MAN CELEBRATES BACK-TO-SCHOOL SEASON BY STARTING NEW
PERSONA SAVE

Childless 36-Year-Old Man Celebrates Back-to-School Season by Starting New
Persona Save

WESTFIELD, Mass. — Local gamer Jakob Barnes announced that he was starting a new
“Persona 5” playthrough in recognition of the new school year, sources…


August 26, 2024


ALL THE GODS FROM SMITE RANKED BY HOW LIKELY THEY’D BE TO ANSWER YOUR PRAYERS

All the Gods From Smite Ranked by How Likely They’d Be to Answer Your Prayers

Look, we’ve all been there. You’ve got a really important event coming up where
you can’t make mistakes, you’re about to ask for a raise,…

August 26, 2024


MASTER HAND GETS HENNA TATTOO

Master Hand Gets Henna Tattoo

FINAL DESTINATION — Following a recent trip to a wedding between two Wireframe
Fighters, Master Hand returns to their final boss level with a paisley…

August 25, 2024


UH OH: I WON AN ARGUMENT WITH MY BOSS, BUT HIS THEME IS STILL PLAYING

Uh Oh: I Won an Argument with My Boss, but His Theme Is Still Playing

Conflict with the boss. We’ve all been there, except for the 65% percent of Hard
Drive’s readership that our latest polling tells me comprises the…

August 24, 2024


SIXTH NIGHT AT FREDDY’S PRETTY UNEVENTFUL

Sixth Night at Freddy’s Pretty Uneventful

ELK GROVE, CA — Jerry Patinski, a newly hired security guard at Freddy Fazbear’s
Pizza in downtown Elk Grove, reported that after a stressful first…

August 23, 2024


PREGNANT ELDEN RING STREAMER CRITICIZED FOR USING EPIDURAL

Pregnant Elden Ring Streamer Criticized for Using Epidural

LOS ANGELES — Controversy has erupted across the Souls community after popular
Elden Ring streamer Emma “RegalMarika” Baxter announced she would be asking for
an…

August 23, 2024


FORTNITE CHARACTERS THAT SHOULD GET THEIR OWN SPIN-OFF

Fortnite Characters That Should Get Their Own Spin-Off

Fortnite is one of the most popular video games of all time. Part of the reason
it’s had such a foothold over gamers for so…

August 22, 2024


COURT AWARDS PLAYSTATION WITH WEEKEND CUSTODY OF XBOX GAMES

Court Awards PlayStation with Weekend Custody of Xbox Games

San Mateo. Calif — In a landmark ruling, a federal judge has awarded PlayStation
with custody of Xbox games on the weekends. The ruling comes from…

August 22, 2024


LAST SAVE JUST FAR BACK ENOUGH TO TOLERATE ANNOYING GLITCH

Last Save Just Far Back Enough to Tolerate Annoying Glitch

OMAHA, Neb. — A local gamer is begrudgingly tolerating a frustrating bug because
he does not want to lose the progress he has made since…


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