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CO-PARENTING AFTER SEPARATION – NESTING ARRANGEMENTS
Home » Co-Parenting after Separation – Nesting Arrangements
CO-PARENTING AFTER SEPARATION – NESTING ARRANGEMENTS
By Olivia Koneval-Brown
Posted September 20, 2018
In Family Law
Co-Parenting after Separation – Nesting
Arrangements2018-09-202018-09-20https://www.mannlawyers.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/mann-lawyers-logo.pngMann
Lawyershttps://www.mannlawyers.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/father-and-son.jpg200px200px
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Separating parents often voice the stress that separation is having on their
children. A parent leaving home is one of the defining moments of change for a
child and usually means starting an access schedule, getting used to a new
routine and a new home, and a new way of life altogether.
Bird nesting arrangements are co-parenting agreements that some parents try out
in an effort to make things easier for their children. The children stay in the
family home after separation while the parents take turns moving in and out of
the house. This moving in and out usually follows the access schedule. During
the time parents are not at home with the children, she or he lives in his or
her own separate household. A nesting arrangement tries to ensure a minimum
amount of disruption to the daily routines of a child and shifts this
significant change to the parents instead. This is meant to be temporary, but it
depends on the family and can be viable for quite some time.
If you would like to discuss birdnesting arrangements with your partner, there
are some pros and cons to consider.
Pros of Bird nesting:
* Maintains stability for children and familiarity of their home;
* Allows children to stay in the same school area, keep their friends, and
remain in community teams/activities (i.e. sports, lessons, classes etc.);
* Helps children ease into the new family dynamic (where they spend time with
parents one-on-one);
* Removes the stress children undergo when needing to take belongings back and
forth between homes, as everything stays in one place (clothing, toys,
personal belongings);
* For parents, it can help with communication as you will need to coordinate
with each other and stay flexible in order for the arrangement to work;
* It eliminates the need to make the decision right away about whether you will
be selling or keeping your home and may allow for you to wait for a buoyant
housing market.
Cons of Bird nesting:
* Can cause confusion for children who, depending on their age and development,
may not understand the new arrangement. A child could think the parents are
still together, as they are both still living in the house, or could be in
denial generally as to what is going on;
* Splitting bill payments for the home could be confusing and difficult for
parents. What happens if one parent is able to afford a larger portion of the
monthly payments — would bills still be shared equally?;
* Consideration would need to be given to how the costs for the children are
shared and how child support is calculated;
* Bearing the cost of a home for the children plus a separate residence can
become a financial burden;
* The separating couple would need to consider how things within the home are
handled, such as who gets to stay in which bedroom, who purchases groceries,
and how general household tasks are handled, such as cleaning, laundry, and
cooking for the children;
* Privacy concerns in general could come up. Parents would need to be trusting
of each other to know that the other partner is not going through their
personal belongings;
* The comings and goings of family members or new partners can become
difficult.
Bird nesting arrangements are something that works for some and not for others.
Like other co-parenting arrangements, it is an option among many to consider —
especially if parents want to try and minimize immediate changes for their
children.
This blog post was written by Olivia Koneval, a member of the Family Law team.
She can be reached at 613-369-0367 or at olivia.koneval@mannlawyers.com.
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